The Reaction Diaries

So far the best part about being a first-time father in the making has been telling people about the impending arrival.  All of my friends took it about like I expected them to, with the cool casual, “Ah, man that’s great” kind of stuff.  Then I drop the bomb.  It’s twins.  That’s when the responses get really good.

At this point everybody was honestly surprised.  Before it wasn’t too big of a shock that Becca was pregnant, except that it might have made some of my high school friends feel old.  But now it was a sincere ‘What in the world’ kind of moment. 

The first non-family member, non-accidental golf course revelation I made was to Scott, one of my best friends since high school.  As soon as I got back from the lunch with the parents I called Scott.  We’d been roommates in college and were both in each other’s weddings so he is probably one of my best friends on the planet.  The conversation (to my best recollection) went something like this.

"Sup?" - Scott (Scott always answers the phone this way.  It's more of a "Suuup" type sound.  Long, drawn-out and white boy ghetto like.)

"Hey man, what's goin' on?" - me

"Not a whole lot, what about you?" - Scott

"Oh, just got back to work.  I just had lunch with the folks and Becca at Peppers." - me

"Oh yea, how was that?" - Scott

"Pretty good.  We just told them that Becca was pregnant." - me

Silence.

"Um . . .  Wow." - Scott

"Yup.  It's twins, too." - me

Silence.

"Wow.  I don't really know what to say right now." - Scott

"Well hey, don't worry about it.  I was just calling to let you know real quick.  I gotta go back to work though." - me

"Um, okay.  That's freakin' great though, dude.  I just don't really know what to say." - Scott

"Not a problem.  I'll talk to ya later." - me

"Okay.  Congrats." - Scott

"Thanks, seeya." - me

"Later." - Scott

So I laughed as I imagined Scott hanging up his phone and thinking for a second.  Then opening his phone back up and checking his call log to see if that really just happened.  Haha, poor kid.  Maybe I should've given him a little bit of a warning.  He was supposed to get married in just two weeks, and everything wasn't exactly going properly, so maybe this helped him.  Yea, he didn't necessarily know all of the details less than a month away, but at least he didn't have two kids to worry about.  So for that, you're welcome Scott.

I then proceeded to call my sister.  She didn't take the news well.

"Hey." - me

"Hey, what're you doing?" - Camie (my sister, in case you didn't pick up on that)

"Not much, just at work." - me

"Oh, cool.  What's up?" - Camie

"I was just calling to tell you that Becca's pregnant.  With twins." - me

"Kellen, that's not funny." - Camie

"I'm serious.  You're going to be an aunt." - me

Silence.

"Ok, well I gotta go." - Camie

My mom said I freaked her out.  I said it couldn't be any worse than what Sonogram technician lady did to me and my now fragile mind.  Either way, I was pissed for a few weeks but we're past that now and she's ready for any Auntly duties.  Whatever those may be.  (Editor's note:  the blog posting page has an automatic spell check.  Both Kellen and Camie are underlined in red as incorrect spellings, but the world auntly is not.  I thought that was interesting and figured I'd share it with the world.)

From there, it  just depended on who I could get on the phone as to the order I told everybody else.  I actually texted my friend Ben.  Ben is another great friend from high school.  I lived with him for two years during college, and apparently our friendship is the lasting type considering it survived three years of his psychotic ex-girlfriend.  So well done to us.  Anyway, his response was, "I hope you're ready for your life to be over."  

Thanks Ben.  Thanks a lot.  To his credit, he did send me back a legitimate congratulatory text saying he was happy for us.  He has now given himself the title of Uncle Bennie, and enjoys sharing his fun facts with me via text message and blog comments.  (Ben and I previously shared a blogging experience, for more on that, please visit:  http://www.xanga.com/aah_201_playaz.)

Another friend Kyle, just responded with a hearty "HOLY CRAP" mixed with a little bit of laughter.  He giggled for a while and just kept repeating "holy crap" over and over.  

The funny part about telling all of these guys was that they all live in Nashville and see each other pretty regularly.  I sort of forgot to tell each of them that they had told the others, so when Scott and Ben got together for a drink later that week they both knew, but didn't know the other one knew.  

According to Scott, there were apparently tip-toeing around the subject with each letting the other know that they had talked to me.  Granted, I am a third party, but I'm going to try and let you know how the conversation went according to both of them:

"So I talked to Kellen the other day." - Scott

"Oh yea?  Me too.  What'd he say?" - Ben

"Not much.  Just seeing how the wedding plans were going." - Scott

"Oh cool." - Ben

"What'd he say to you?" - Scott

Ben then looked at him through squinted eyes and said, "Nothing."

After changing the subject it eventually moved back to me and the news.

"So what'd he tell you?" - Ben

"Nothing important.  What about you?" - Scott

"It was something, but I can't tell.  I don't think." - Ben

"He told me something I can't tell, either.  Do you think it's the same thing." - Scott

"Probably.  So what'd he tell you?" - Ben

"Uh uh, I'm not saying it.  You tell first." - Scott

After going on for a few minutes with this, they both spilled the beans and I found out they also suck at keeping secrets.  It must be a trait shared amongst our entire group of friends.  Sometime during their happy hour, they began discussing who was going to be the godfather.  Then they began texting me and giving me little snippets of their godfather resume.  

Facebook statuses reflected the ongoing "Godfather War" and I laughed because the one thing I told everybody was "You can't tell anybody about this."  Oh well.  

I would have to say Ben definitely lobbied himself into contention through fantasy baseball.  One of my favorite past times, my offense is struggling this year.  My shortstop has shoulder issues and I have too many OF's on my bench to be of any use.  What I needed was a corner infielder with average and power.  What Ben happened to have was a horrible team he never checked and third baseman Garrett Atkins.  A few clicks later, I had Atkins and he had the edge in the race.

He would later put himself ahead by sending me a secret text message letting me know that not only is Scott addicted to cocaine, but he is also a Muslim.  Winner:  Ben.

Too bad we're not having a godfather, huh?

Finally, the absolute best response to the news would have to be one of me and Becca's mutual friends, Anna.  We met Anna working at Twin Lakes Summer Camp where Becca and I initially met so we've known her for a long time.  One of our other camp friends recently found out his wife was having a baby so I used that as a conversation starter.  Once again, the conversation was all done through text messaging and it went like this:

"So ya know how Ben's wife is preggo?" - me

"Yeah!  What about it?" - Anna

"So's mine." - me

"Shut up.........." - Anna

"Nope.  Twins." - me

"Wtf.  Lies." - Anna

"Honest to God truth.  3 months along." - me

"Oh my gosh.........?!?!?! Oh my gosh........?!?!?! Oh my gosh........?!?!?!" - Anna

"Yep.  My feelings exactly." - me

After a few more messages back and forth she had finally accepted the truth and went about telling everybody currently working at Twin Lakes Summer Camp, whether they had ever heard of us or not.

Awesome.  Congrats to us . . .